We’ve been getting some great reviews on our latest product “Becoming Zen: A 21-Day Mind Detox for Anxiety” and we thought you might want to check them out for yourself here:
Supplement Police Review
James Stewart Review
Tamy Smith Review
We have already helped so many people to reduce anxiety and overcome stress in their lives ….and we don’t want you to miss out! If you haven’t heard… this course was written by me, a therapist, and is designed to help people to learn about the most important thing in their lives – accepting themselves and learning the tools to reduce stress and anxiety. Becoming Zen truly helps people improve self-esteem and relationships, but understanding that negative thinking can affect anyone and is very easy to change.
Remember if you haven’t got your copy yet…they are still available for an amazing price of only $9.99 for a limited time at right here
WHY WE SHOULDN’T APOLOGIZE FOR OURSELVES: The THREE Detrimental Effects of Negative Self Talk!
As a therapist I deal with a lot of issues of low self-esteem and I hear negative self talk* regularly dropped in sessions. Women, men and even children in our culture have become so used to negative self talk as part of “conversation” that it just slips out “I obviously wouldn’t know what i’m talking about”, “as an ugly person i have just accepted that…”, “I’m not worth your time anyway”.
In a culture where no one wants to be seen as too arrogant, self absorbed or overly “confident” this is what we are reduced to. Minimizing ourselves in conversation to either make others feel better, so as not to seem arrogant or because we have only learned the negative traits of ourselves.
The problem is when we live apologizing for who we are it goes beyond a conversational level. If we are constantly apologizing and trying to belittle our positives, or play down our achievements – eventually we begin to believe this as a “truth”. The self-talk becomes not only conversational, but it becomes part of our daily practice.
We then begin to talk to ourselves like that ALL of the time. I discuss this topic in my course on Mindfulness “Becoming Zen” because I believe that this type of self talk is the equivalent of being in an abusive relationship on our self esteem. If we walk around all day putting ourselves down, the result is that we are basically mentally and emotionally abusing ourselves. I created my course to help men and women who struggle with self-talk and show them ways to develop a positive self image.
There are three main effects I see when negative self-talk becomes the “norm” in a person’s life and these are:
- Hopelessness – hopelessness becomes a baseline and the negative self talk becomes the persons sense of agency/ ability. If all they are exposed to is their own negative thoughts about themselves, then it creates a hopelessness and ruins their ability to cope.
- Goals are Lowered – The person experiencing the negative self talk will set their goals lower and feel less able to achieve what they want to out of life.
- Affect on friends and family – When negative self talk is the normal in a household or group of friends, it has a shared effect. Children also model the negative self talk about themselves and learn that this is the way to communicate.
But it doesn’t have to be hopeless – Negative self talk can be changed and I focus on this on my youtube channel as well “You Counselling” with weekly videos on agency and positive self esteem. One great way to begin your journey to positive self esteem is to begin journalling about one thing you appreciate or like about yourself each day.
You can sign up here for my free e-book and you will also be sent free gratitude journal templates to get started on your practice!
Thanks for reading and don’t forget to LOVE. YOUR. LIFE.
Your friend and therapist,
Since I began Vlogging several months ago a lot of people have asked me why I do it.
My message is simple and that is that Mental Health doesn’t wait for you to have time to get in to see your therapist. It doesn’t always hit at the most convenient times and sometimes people just want an accessible way to work on their coping skills and feel connected.
It is not something I hide that throughout much of my childhood and teenage years I struggled with immense social anxiety. I was born with a facial deformity that left me feeling very self conscious and I moved all over the world. I believe that if I had had as much access to social media, connection and communities of people who had the same struggles as me that I would have felt more accepted, confident and OK with where I was at.
Many of the symptoms we feel are actually really normal. Most people deal to some extent with Anxiety, Depression or even confidence issues once in a while and the purpose of You Counselling and the You Therapy VLOGS are to remind you that ITS OK not to always be okay.
Don’t strive for perfection, just strive to be grateful for today and to embrace the present as it comes.
Most of all…don’t forget to love yourself. Imperfections and all. Because if you don’t…you give others the message that it’s okay not to love you as well.
Please subscribe to my YouTube for weekly videos:
And instagram for updates: www.instagram.com/you_counselling